I love the below answer and think it could be quite useful for lots of couples, esp as regards the self esteem issues. If you want a woman to rule you, she has to feel like a godess in and out of the bedroom. Make her feel like a goddess.
While there’s a fairly scarce number of Dommes out there, there’s tons of submissive men who are in relationships with women who could be dominant.
In many cases, the women they are with would shy away if they were abruptly confronted with the idea of a D/s relationship. This is due partly to taboos and partly by the fact that most men fail pretty badly when it comes to introducing the idea in a reasonable manner. Blind-siding them with a “By the way, I want you to tie me up and beat me,” usually isn’t the best of ideas.
From my experiences, the ability for a woman to feel dominant is very closely tied to her self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-image. Most men are fairly neglectful in relationships and their behavior combined with the reinforcement from the media, etc. help contribute to many women having rather poor self-images and self-esteem (it’s profitable to make women spend money on cosmetics, weight loss products, etc.). The key to unlocking a dominant nature in a woman is to do everything possible to keep her self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-image riding at very high levels. Giving compliments, giving gifts, reassuring your love and appreciation for her, and letting her know that her needs are of primary importance go a long way in this. Much of this will require the male in the relationship to pay careful attention. Did she get a haircut? Does the outfit she wore today look flattering/hot? Did she put a lot of effort into looking nice with her hair and makeup? When the answer is yes, let her know that you noticed. When she is always feeling good about herself, she is on the verge of tapping her dominant nature.
For dominance to occur she has to feel powerful. For her to feel powerful she has to feel confident. If you want her to act like a queen, it’s up to you to make her feel like a queen. If you want her to rule you with an iron fist, be prepared to make her feel like she is entitled to have her way all the time. The more she gets her way, the more accustomed she will be to getting her way. Basically, if you want her to look down upon you, it’s up to you to help elevate her to that pedestal.
Start doing chores without having to be asked to do them. Start offering to take over chores that she has been doing, citing that you want her to be as happy as possible and you think she deserves to have more leisure time to enjoy the things she likes to do. Once you have done them a few times, start doing them automatically without being asked. Ask her to inspect your work to make sure you are doing a good job and if you aren’t, ask for instruction on how to do it correctly. Attend to her needs. Ask her if there’s anything she needs/wants/could use. Be ready with her slippers and favorite beverage without being asked. Cater to her wishes in the bedroom. If you consistently maintain this behavior it should be only a matter of weeks before her expectations for you start to change and she acclimates to the new lifestyle. A sign that this process is happening is if she acts surprised if you forget to do something you had been doing for her.
By this time you have basically created a D/s dynamic in your relationship minus the kink. Beyond this point it’s a bit of a slippery slope. If your end goal is this lifestyle and some kinky bedroom play she will most likely oblige as there is a good chance her love and appreciation for you has grown over this time. If you wish to take things further you are taking a bit of a risk, but if it’s something you need to be happy, you owe it to the both of you to at least talk about it. There are a handful of texts and websites available that outline introducing Femdom into a relationship and they may serve as some starting points to work from and there are also a few ways to go about talking about it. I wouldn’t recommend buying her a Femdom book or giving her links to websites until you have reached this point as she probably will not take you seriously enough or may be put off by it if she hasn’t become accustomed to some of the characteristics of the lifestyle that it most likely will cover.
In all cases, it is probably better for you to talk about things before introducing any kind of exposure to the kinkier fetish lifestyles. Some of the roundabout ways to bring it up are with a phrase like “I always want you to feel like a queen and it pains me if I disappoint you, so please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make you happier. I want you to expect the best from me at all times,” and gauging her responses to that. Search for the positives in your fetishes and if you bring them up, try to present to her how they will benefit her and make her happier.
There’s no guarantee that she will take to the idea of a D/s lifestyle but you can at least put yourself into the best position possible by making her feel great and happy and that she deserves to get what she wants.
Being her is a huge fantasy of mine.
It is with great happiness that I would like to announce: I am now the collared submissive of my Lady. It is my honor to wear the beautiful, titanium, turian collar that Glitterkink has placed about my throat ( pictures of her collar to follow soon). We have plans to carry this into a more symbolic realm during an intimate ceremony when she will affix her tag of ownership to said collar, but for now, I am most content with our choice.
This is something that we have been anticipating for some time and I have been obsessed with for an even longer period. It has always been a long held dream of mine to be truly and completely owned. To submit my life and all that it entails into the hands of someone I know I can trust but who will still push me beyond the limits of my comfort zone. It thrills me beyond my dreams to know that I have found someone whom I can trust implicitly. To know that I belong to her in every sense of the word. To know that I am expected to serve her in any way she wishes. To submit myself, body and mind to her every whim.
It makes my boy bits throb with excitement to know that I am owned and no longer have a real say in what shall be done with/to/for me. Her pleasure is paramount, my own ( while very much enhanced by this ) is purely incidental. My mind tingles with the thought that I am hers to do with as she pleases.
We are still in the early days of her possession of me, and still exploring the many, subtle changes that we will make, but we do plan to make this a permanent 24/7 lifestyle in any and all ways that we can.
What I wouldn’t give to be this girl on this night.
This was how I met my first real girlfriend, when I was fresh out of catholic school. I didn’t stand a chance, I was instantly hers.
My biggest Foot Fetish fantasy was to have a girl tease me like this constantly…
I love when girls do this..
I just finished writing a story for a client that actually made me cum in my panties. That has never happened to me before. It was incredible!
Me, doing a spur of the moment, steampunk, t-girl, thing.